I walked into his place, and I guarantee you he wasn't expecting me. I found him in bed with a woman. A WOMAN!!! Ick! And judging by her purse -- at least, I assume that hideous thing on the nightstand was hers -- not one of discerning tastes. I'm not sure which hurts more: that he would betray me like this, or that he would do so with someone who has no shame in being seen in public with a counterfeit Louis Vuitton (as if that hideous oval leather patch stamped "Louis Vuitton Paris made in France" isn't a dead giveaway)!!!
I couldn't deal, and I wasn't about to make a scene just before shipping out. Heaven forbid I draw a little unwanted attention my way and get "asked"! So I went back to my place, hung a hammock in the backyard, poured myself a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, and drowned my sorrows while listening to my New Edition 50th Anniversary Special Edition album on the subneural soundplay emitter. Now I've got a splitting headache, and this new drug I got from the infirmary, mycotetrazine, isn't doing squat. I hope I'm not too hung over when I report at 0500.