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I took a shower this morning, which is a dangerous thing. Yes, the hygiene is important, but I conjure up my most "brilliant" ideas while I'm in the shower. I'm sure I thought up the blue hair in the shower, as well as my solo a cappella children's CD (I would dub all the parts), my Girls Gone Wilde video series (all women casts performing the plays of Oscar Wilde), and other similarly "brilliant" ideas.

I had another "brilliant" idea in the shower this morning:  RemakeAGeek.Com!

This idea was inspired by a comment I received from a friend yesterday about not liking my new do because it's not me. We didn't bother to get into a discussion about what is me; rather, we got into a discussion about "looks." I acknowledge that my look currently is a mish-mosh. I've got a funky new hairdo, but the same dopey clothes as always. It's a process. I can't remake my wardrobe in one fell swoop. But he doesn't think the look I am trying to go for is me. When I asked what look I should go for, he kidded, "Skip straight to the glasses with masking tape in the middle." He backed off from this, saying he was just going for comic effect, but there was a grain of truth in this. I am a geek. More significantly, I am perceived as a geek. No one could possibly confuse me for hip, cool, trendy, sporty, chic, fashionable, etc.

But my inside is telling me that I don't want to be perceived as a geek. I don't necessarily want to be trendy either, but I do want to look well put together. I'm not trying to dress for others, but I just don't feel comfortable with my look and want to find something that works.

So I got to thinking about creating a website, RemakeAGeek.Com, to facilitate my makeover. The concept is to take a geek (me, of course) and make him cool. It would be a sort of blend of Fashion Emergency, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and Ambush Makeover.

The website would function to raise money for the makeover cause and track its progress. It would make money in three ways. First, one could purchase, for say $20, the right to submit a fashion tip (50-word max) to the geek makeover committee. A percentage of that fee would be donated to a charity, and I would have a few charities to choose from, such as one for burn victims or one for animal cruelty prevention, etc. Second, one could make a $100 donation to be listed on the Makover Honor Roll. Third, one could donate $500 to be listed on the honor roll and have a banner ad displayed on the site.

There might even be a hook-up-o-meter. The way that would work is I'd have a counter reading "xxx days since the geek has been laid." $20 contributions would start with a 60-40 ratio for geek makeover to charity. But, as the makeover becomes more and more complete, the geek's chances of getting laid increase. Each time he gets laid, the ratio would shift in charity's favor by 10%, until eventually all proceeds go to charity.

I would form a geek makeover committe to assist in the makeover. They would review online suggestions but would rely on their good taste and fashion intuition to guide the makeover. I think the ideal size of this committee is five, with the ideal composition being 2 straight women, 2 gay guys, and 1 straight guy with a clue. (I have some preliminary ideas for the 2 women and 2 gay guys, but finding a straight guy with a clue might be difficult!) All purchases (clothing, hair, products, fitness, etc.) would be made with the supervision of a committee member, and none would be final without the approval of all. Naturally, the geek would have limited veto power.

The makeover would encompass various facets of the geek's presentation. After all, what's the point of getting a snazzy new shirt and pants if you have bad shoes? A great outfit if your hair, nails, and skin don't look good? All of the above if the personality still screams out geekiness? Thus, makeover expenditures could include clothing, shoes, accessories, hair styling, manicure, pedicure, facial, products, gym membership, nutritionist, classes or learning materials on self-improvement, etc.; it would include whatever is deemed important by the committee and funds allow.

This is the "brilliant" idea I had in the shower this morning. What do you guys think?


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 14th, 2003 04:34 pm (UTC)
you sure you want to admit to xxx number of days since getting laid, in public?
Aug. 14th, 2003 04:44 pm (UTC)
Totally, because he's going for the sympathy value here.
Aug. 14th, 2003 06:23 pm (UTC)
Let's also remember that xxx could represent zeros!
Aug. 14th, 2003 06:42 pm (UTC)
Ah, Derek, my friend, you must remember to embrace *both* the inner and outer geek! All hail the geek! Some of us out here like geeks - why try to hide it? ;)
Aug. 14th, 2003 06:44 pm (UTC)
Ack! That last comment was me! (happened to go to livejournal site without realizing that my sweetie had been using my computer and was still logged in!). Oops.
Aug. 14th, 2003 11:40 pm (UTC)
I think the ideal size of this committee is five, with the ideal composition being 2 straight women, 2 gay guys, and 1 straight guy with a clue.

Kelly's dreams of a career as a makeover consultant are obviously never going to amount to anything.
Aug. 16th, 2003 09:00 pm (UTC)
What do you mean? spwebdesign said that there could be two gay men on the committee; why doesn't Kelly qualify on those grounds?

Oh, you mean the body and boobs and things? Surely he meant on the inside, and I am convinced that K is a Big Old Queen on the inside!

Aug. 15th, 2003 02:49 am (UTC)
"Girls Gone Wilde"! Hee!

Sorry, I can't evaluate your latest brainstorm -- I couldn't get past the above bit, so hard was I laughing.
Aug. 16th, 2003 09:06 pm (UTC)
It's funny - I don't think of you as a geek (in either the good or the bad sense of the word). When I have been with you, you have talked about whatever was going on at the time (e.g., talking Opera, or someone's lovelorn interest they are discussing, or the games we are playing, or something else appropriate), or Art (usually Music). That is, something human and cultural. I have never once heard you crack a jock about self-referentiality, answered a question in HTML, or worn wearable computers. I was surprised to find that your profession is as a web designer.

Having said that, I can't quite picture you with blue hair - but perhaps I will have the chance to do so soon. You need to make a user pic of it.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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