Panama (spwebdesign) wrote,
Panama
spwebdesign

I realized as I was leaving church this evening that it's not just my break-up with Katie that's causing all these tears to flow.

I said goodbye to the Father Peter at St. Clement's tonight. I've been going there for over 6 years, ever since Keya and I discovered this church by accident one night as the only church around that had a night service we could attend. We walked in and were awed. The inside of the building is beautiful. The music was uplifting. And Father Peter … I'm going to miss his homilies! So many priests sounds like they've done this a million times, so it's easy not to pay attention. With Father Peter, it's always as if he's telling you something sincere, from the depths of his heart, for the first time. His passion and enthusiasm and sincerity really touched Keya and me, and we made a point of going there as often as we could.

I'm also saying goodbye to so many friends. There are friends I've known for years, such as Jeff, Scotty, Stephen, Brian, Jude, Dan, Keya, Lorreen, and others. There are friends through BU Medical; sure, I hated the job, but I stayed as long as I did because the people I worked directly with were wonderful. There are friends in the music community: singers, coaches, teachers, pianists. And then there are the wonderful, wonderful friends I've made through Theater at First (of whom Katie is one, of course). It's when I met all these wonderful people at T@F that I started to realize that maybe I didn't need to go to England to study, that maybe I could be happy doing community theater as long as the people I worked with were fantastic people like those at T@F.

There are many goodbyes that pain me. Yes, I know I'll be back to visit, but it won't be the same. I've made a life for myself here. As much as I profess to hate Boston, there are wonderful people here I am going to miss greatly. I love you all. And of course there's Katie. I love her dearest of all and would happily give up my "dream" to be with her. But it's not to be. I feel like I have no choice now but to go to London. I've painted myself into a corner, and it has raised expectations and caused me heartache. I have to go now and pray that it all works out for the best. But I want you all to know that I love you and I'll be thinking of you.
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